week 25.

week 25:

i think some new clothes are in order ;)

super sunday

today was uber productive.

no lazy sunday for this girl.

and i feel amazing about it.

i finally got around to organizing and re-arranging

things to make our house look a little more like "home"

and that it is.

there is still plenty of work to be done.

i needed some rockstar husband help but he worked all day.

sooo tomorrow is another day.

and many pictures will be posted.

as i am finally not so embarrassed to show off where we live.

our cute little house.

if only it was a teeny bit bigger cute little house.

but for now, it will be perfect.

tonight i am off to mom's

for family dinner.

and the jets game i guess.

im the only one in the fam that's not a super football fan.

i like it.

i can take it or leave it.

so while everyone else is off screaming at the tv.....

ill be hanging out with some cuties!

im ready to meet you.

i have exactly one week left of work. 

i have been directed by my doctor to go on maternity early. 

reallly early.

i am looking forward to not working, 

especially since it is such a stressful place in my life. 

buttttt it's quite a while before this little sunshine makes her appearance. 

and i don't know what i am going to do with myself. 

i by no means want her to come super early

and not be fully developed. 

i just really want time to speed by 

so i can hold her in my arms. 

i feel like this now, what will i do at week 39??

i think we have wanted her for so long, 

that we are more than ready to meet her now. 

we're over this pregnancy and ready to be mom and dad. 

we're ready to play with this little rockstar baby.

<3

 

 

 

 

she needs them all. =)

black swan: a must.

 

maybe it's because she is one of my girl crushes.

maybe its cause im totally into dark movies.

but this movie was amazing!

natalie portman is stunning. 

and mila kunis aint too bad herself. 

i highly recommend this movie. 

if nothing else, but to drool over the hott ladies ;)

6 months in a nutshell.

fast forward:

i'd love to write about every little detail that happened since the day we found out we would be mommy and daddy.

but i don't want to bore you, and id rather just get to the good stuff. 

like, 

we were convinced it was a boy. 

that's what the chinese gender chart said. 

and my doctor. 

and everyone in the world. 

then we went for our sonogram. 

and the tech said, 

"well it looks like...... a girl!"

whhhhaaaaattt????

i already picked out a boys name and bought clothes. 

(of course i bought clothes)

we were not expecting that response at all. 

although, neither of us had a preference. 

my heart immediately filled with joy upon hearing those words. 

i guess it would have been the same if we heard its a boy. 

but we didn't. 

and we are so happy. 

(rockstar husband is a little nervous. practicing some intimidation already for the boys)

so i obviously went shopping. 

and this lady has more clothes than i do already!!

but names we are stuck on. 

there are a bunch we like, but haven't been able to pick. 

the latest is between 

haleigh & kyleigh.

suggestions??

ps. i love her more than words already. 

love her more than i ever thought possible to love someone 

i havent really met.

i couldn't wait to tell you....

­

it''s true. it's true. 

i want to tell you everything about it. 

(and i am so upset i didnt log every step as it happened)

but i guess you're now spared the suspense. 

rockstar husband and i had been trying for 

months & months & months. 

we were almost starting to give up hope. 

my doctors wanted to send us to an infertility specialist. 

it was becoming devastating. 

i finally convinced myself,

"everything happens for a reason"

and i needed to stop stressing it. 

stop obsessing over it. 

stop taking 2 billion tests every month. 

come what may.

on september 4th.

rockstar husband and i had a wedding to go to. 

we both had to work previous. 

and it was such an awful day for both of us. 

we were busy and could not leave work. 

we were going to be so late for this wedding we were looking so forward to. 

we were meeting at my brothers house to get ready and go. 

my brother had already made his way to the big fiesta. 

as i left work, grumpy and moody, 

i contemplated getting a test. 

more than anything to make sure i didn't drink the night away 

if there was a chance there was someone growing inside me.
i walked past the aisle of Target 5 times. 

"do i really need to do this to myself?"

"i already know the answer. STOP"

"but maybe i should just double check"

"kate seriously its not happening, you're optimistic attitude is not helping this one"

"whatever it's not hurting me to do it."

i got on line with box in hand. 

(and yes i wasted even more time in argument with myself)

i got to my brothers...

still aggravated at how late we were going to be. 

but continued to get myself ready, now forgetting about the test. 

i remembered at the last minute. 

as i read the word pregnant

i was in complete disbelief. 

(yes i got the dummy proof ones)

i took two more. 

i don't even know how i produced that much urine. 

and they were the same as the first. 

i was speechless....

definitely not tearless, but wordless. 

i couldn't even catch my breath. 

then he walked in. 

again, aggravated and grumpy. 

throwing stuff around and trying to rush in to get ready. 

i looked at him, smiling ear to ear of course. 

i asked him how his day was going?

knowing full well that it was not so great. 

i huffed. 

i smiled bigger and harder. 

his eyes were curious. 

me "how would you like me to make it better?"

i think his mind went to the gutter here. 

me "what could i tell you right now to make you smile?"

rh "you love me?"

me "that easy huh? well then this will make you ecstatic"

extremely curious now. 

me "you're going to be a daddy"

and again, 

two very outspoken people very quiet. 

very speechless. 

there were just smiles and tears. 

i think i was even more excited after his reaction.

and it has been such an adventure.......

remember me?

i know i know. 

it's been a long time. 

a very very long time. 

and to be honest..... so much has happened. 

i don't know why i haven't kept you up. 

i guess work really took over my time for awhile. 

and really, work took over the most important things in my life. 

when i left retail for the first time, that was my favorite thing about it. 

i realized what life was about. 

i realized life was too short to focus solely on work. 

there was so much more out there. 

there was my amazing family and rockstar husband. 

he's another story. he deserves every second of my life. 

i was happy. 

then last july i took on my old familiar role as a store manager. 

aka no time for rockstar husband or friends or family.

or me.

i isolated many. not purposely. 

i convinced myself they needed to understand work was important to me. 

instead i needed to understand that life was important to me. 

they were important to me.

i needed them. 

i needed this outlet. 

so here i am. 

for good!