just give me a sign.

this may be the longest post in {poprocks} history.

but i have a lot on my mind.

{one being that new job mentioned earlier}

and i may be everywhere but bear with me.

i believe in signs.

kinda like the one i told you about here.

signs that let you know things are meant to happen.

or not meant to happen.

signs that let you know its ok to take that step.

or tell you to back up a bit.

sometimes i look for them. or ask for them.

and sometimes most times.

they just happen.

i will tell you all about the best day of my life in my rockstar love series.

but this here is about the honey moon.

keep in mind "my signs" as you follow.

months & months of decision making went into honey moon.

the wedding was a piece of cake, but the honey moon.

now that needed to be perfect.

and we had a never-ending list of places we wanted to walk the streets of.

but we were deciding between belize, fiji & costa rica.

luckily, i sat at my computer one day,

determined.

i was going to walk away with a plan.

before i started, i opened an email.

(i used to travel lots for work so i have a fun marriot rewards card)

and there it was.

deal of the day: jw guanacaste marriot resort in.....

costa rica.

more than half off per night for the biggest suite they had.

could it be this easy?

it was!

a frantic, excited call was made to his restraunt.

(i never call him at work)

annd he loved the idea.

i booked it within minutes.

and then found a super amazing deal for plane tickets.

perfect. perfect. perfect.

we were going to have the most amazing honeymoon

and we were spending close to nothin for our almost paradise.

we arrived in costa rica.

bright & early.

ecstatic to start our "adventure"

{how literal that word would soon be}

we get into a taxi

and we find out our hotel

is a near 6 hours away.

i booked the flight for the wrong airport.

(in my defense i was told to go to that airport)

after denying this could be true for a good 30 minutes,

we were on our way.

exploring the beautiful country!

this was kinds of a perk to an awful mistake.

we saw a lot more of costa rica than we bargained for.

we got to the most beautiful hotel i had ever laid my eyes on.

this was right out of a movie.

annd they had bumped us to a better suite for nothing!

"happy honeymoon"

i was in love.

and awful glad i had packed my life because there was a chance

i wouldnt be leaving.

throughout the week, we had come to the realization

that high room rates were not the only things that were high when you stay at a 5 star hotel.

so are the restraunts and gift shops and taxis.

yes even the taxis hiked their prices for elite guests such as ourselves.

if only they knew we were only there via great deal!

so we over indulged all week.

we only get one honeymoon right?

so we did it up.

we lived like the rockstars we pretend we are.

and loved it.

{the longest drive ever}

{this was just the bedroom. loves!}

{zip lining & atvs}

{i made a new friend. she wouldn't let me leave. really}

day 7 quickly approached.

and there was one thing left undone.

we hadnn't rented mopeds and experienced the island ourselves.

after a lot of convincing,

we were on our way.

me: i had never rode a moped.

or a motorcycle (which is what this basically was in the states)

ben: rode in bermuda but didnt love it.

hence the convincing.

it would be different this time because it was our honeymoon.

we left the parking lot and i instantly shot across the road.

with a scared look, the attendent waved us off.

(the attendant who didn't speak english and couldn't tell us how to work them)

(the attendant who was too impatient for my half spanish)

i should warn you.

myself and rockstar husband are jet ski people.

we looooove to jet ski.

more than anything in the world.

in fact every place we had ever visited together,

we have rented jet skiis.

we weren't even a mile down the road.

when along the awful dirt roads,

i hit the biggest bump.biggest!

knowing how to ride jet skiis and not this contraption.

i accidently gripped the handlebars.

(thats what i do when i don't want to fall off a jet ski.

so thats the accelerator on this bad boy, huh?)

you guessed it.

there i went full speed on this 150cc of mess.

and right into the side of a turning truck.

i instantly jumped off as i hit the truck.

smashing my face into the side.

immediately, there were 10 people by me asking if i was ok.

(i was on my feet)

puzzled i looked at them, "im fine, just bumped my chin"

"im fine really"

then i saw bens face.

the look of oh my god.

oh my freakin god.

as i tried to walk away,

3 people grabbed me.

why did they think i was incapable of walking?

I ONLY BUMPED MY CHIN.

i looked down as to not trip over the bike, moped, scooter, whatever.

to see that "thing" in a million pieces.

it had shattered while the biggest part lie under the truck.

i instantly felt light headed thinking what if i hadn't jumped.

as i moved my eyes around all the pieces, i caught a glimpse of me.

and my leg that had looked worse than that of the mangled pieces on the bike.

and this is where i fell and needed those helping hands.

(if you get grossed out easily stop reading her. ill tell you when its done)

my leg was a hot mess.

blood everywhere. and skin just barely hanging on.

i had managed to cut my leg open on something.

and i literally cut my leg open. right down to the bone.

the sight of it made me nauseus.

or maybe it had been the loss of blood.

they rushed me to the nearest store.

(which had thankfully had been a pharmacy fully equpped with hospital bed)

there were so many people running in and out.

like in fast forward. making sure i was ok.

calling the ambulance. figuring everything out.

and then there in a slow mo blurr were me & him.

he just stared at me with such fear in his eyes.

i wasn't even in pain. but i was scared.

we didn't know where we were.

we barely spoke their langauage.

and i had no idea what their medical was like there.

and everyone who looked at me,

looked at me with fear.

the ambulance showed  up an hour later.

(im not lying. an hour!)

so the paramedics came in to look at me before moving me.

and something that was became so normal with everyone else,

but something i didn't want to see with them.

scared eyes.

these guys didn't speak any english.

so we had some translators and we attempted to communicate.

him with fake english and me with fake spanish.

recipe for disaster.

{this was taken 3 weeks after the accident.}

i wont get into the whole rest of this story.

because this story is not really about my battle with a moped.

i will tell you a revised ending.

there was mention of amputation.

there was an ambulance transfer.

the hospital was over an hour away.

we were left stranded at the hospital with hopes of finding a way back,

in a non-tourist town. awesome.

a very expensive ticket transfer to the closer airport.

and a more than uncomfortable 9 hour plane ride home.

which in its entirety made this the  most expensive trip in the history of honey moons.

(ok you can start reading again)

but this post is about signs.

people believe in rain on their wedding day to be bad luck.

we had a mist.

so i call it good fortune.

what the hell was this?

i had a 9 hour plane ride to contemplate why something like this would happen

im a girl who believes everything happens for a reason.

well what was the reason for this??

i loved this boy. a lot.

but was someone trying to tell me something?

we were in store for a lifetime of unhappiness?

a lifetime of unfortunate encounters?

did it happen to open my eyes?

to tell me i had made the wrong decision.

(and yes im this serious about signs)

but it was a sign to say we did it.

we had just weeks before made those vows.

and we weren't supposed to because we had written our own.

and by mistake the minister made us say the traditional vows.

from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part

those words which shouldn't have been spoken, were.

and we said them with the same feeling and deep love as we had said our own.

and we were unluckily lucky enough to be able to witness it within weeks of our marriage.

we visited each of these scenarios with only one thing constant.

we loved each other. for everything we were.

and i saw that day how lucky i was to have married this man.

someone who feared losing me.

someone who felt the same pain as i felt.

someone who never left my side.

someone who stayed up the entire night in fear i would need something.

somone who took care of me for the months after.

and someone who didn't get mad once when i woke him up for something silly.

when he had to work the next day.

someone who supported me while i couldn't work.

someone who spent his entire days off in bringing me everywhere

with crutches and wheelchair in tow because i was sick of being in the house.

so i do believe that nightmare of a day was a sign.

i sign he was it. he was the one who would take care of me for the rest of my life.

im sorry for the super long post.

just something ive been thinking about a lot lately made me think of this.

made me think of my crazy signs.

ill tell you all about it in my next post!