when we're bored.. we have photo shoots.

and this is what my days consist of ;)

i love my life.

Summer Ashlee Jamieson is here!

she was born on may 12, 2011.

and i have never been more in love.

she seriously lights up my life.

i guess everyone says that after they have a baby.

and i guess i never tuly understood it until now.

i truly love her.

with every ounce of my heart.

she is the most amazing baby.

absolutely amazing!

and her daddy.

he is the most adorable thing ever.

he is so in love with her.

which in turn makes me so in love with him.

we were lucky enough to have 2 full weeks together with her.

and i have never seen a guy so proud to be a dad.

and he is the best dad.

everything is so surreal

and i still can't believe this is really happening.

<3

 

it has been a long journey. 

spent countless hours, days really. no months! 

looking through a ridiculous amount of books, downloading every app, 

& checking out EVERY website possible. 

But we finally did it. 

we decided on a name for this little peanut. 

{one we had pre books, apps, & websites might i add}

sUmmEr jAmiEsOn

so we officially have a name. 

it is such a relief. 

i love calling her by her name

even more so, i love hearing rockstar husband say it. 

its amazing how in love we are already.

i didnt think i could fall any more in love with rockstar husband, 

i proved myself wrong yet again. 

this has been such an amazing journey in our relationship. 

and i know there's so much more in our future. 

Now let's all wish for Summer to get here!! 

{in every sense of the name}

its friday. and truth is, im in love



i have been home for a month now.

i  was forced out on early maternity.

in some ways it was a blessing,

i was in a super stressful job that would have made this whole experience miserable.

not the topic though.

i am lucky enough to be able to spend everyday with my mom

& my uber cute niece.

my mom watches her everyday for my brother.

she is 2.

she is fresh. she is in her terrible 2's. she doesn't talk yet.

and she is the cutest thing to walk this planet.

and i absolutely love that i get the opportunity to spend everyday with her.

honestly, all this time i spend with her

makes me even more anxious for my lil cuddle bug to come.

but for now, we are having tons of fun.

what snow?

i would like to be here again. 

with all this snow and rain

i cant help but to daydream about a warmer place

a tropical place. 

a place that is very close to my heart. 

this is where we honeymooned. 

altho there were unfortunate moments of the week, 

i would go back in a heart beat. 

i can't wait to someday bring rockstar baby here

so she can see and fall in love the way we did. 

chasing the invisible.

everyone has fears.

things that scare people so much it almost makes them sick.

for some its spiders or needles. 

and for some its being alone. 

i have been pretty blessed.

critters don't bother me. i take needles like a champ. 

and i am surrounded by loved ones who make it impossible to ever

feel lonely.

i do have one fear. 

that eats away at me. day in and day out. 

im afraid to be ordinary. 

to be typical. 

i fear growing old and not being able to take pride in everything i did. 

don't get me wrong. 

in so many ways i am very happy with my life. 

i LOVE my rockstar husband.

and we are lucky enough to be a mom and dad in a few short months. 

we have so much to be grateful for. 

but i cant help but to think.....

what am i doing with my life?

i am a very ambitious and motivated individual. 

that's not the problem. 

chasing the dream would be no sweat. 

but..... what is the dream?

i don't know what my dream is. 

depending on the day i change my mind. 

i know i have written about this so many times before, 

but now with rockstar baby on the way, 

it has me in panic mode. 

its not longer just me and husband to worry about. 

i need to really consider what i want to be doing. 

and will it make sense?

will we make enough money to keep our little family comfortable?

will it be super exciting and somewhat non stressful?

will it leave me enough time to completely spoil baby?

will i see my husband enough?

will i be happy?

and everytime i think i have it. 

something else sounds so much more spectacular. 

i want someone to tell me 

"this is what you need to be doing with your life"

"this is what you're good at"

anything!!!!

i have two months to figure life out. 

week 25.

week 25:

i think some new clothes are in order ;)

super sunday

today was uber productive.

no lazy sunday for this girl.

and i feel amazing about it.

i finally got around to organizing and re-arranging

things to make our house look a little more like "home"

and that it is.

there is still plenty of work to be done.

i needed some rockstar husband help but he worked all day.

sooo tomorrow is another day.

and many pictures will be posted.

as i am finally not so embarrassed to show off where we live.

our cute little house.

if only it was a teeny bit bigger cute little house.

but for now, it will be perfect.

tonight i am off to mom's

for family dinner.

and the jets game i guess.

im the only one in the fam that's not a super football fan.

i like it.

i can take it or leave it.

so while everyone else is off screaming at the tv.....

ill be hanging out with some cuties!

im ready to meet you.

i have exactly one week left of work. 

i have been directed by my doctor to go on maternity early. 

reallly early.

i am looking forward to not working, 

especially since it is such a stressful place in my life. 

buttttt it's quite a while before this little sunshine makes her appearance. 

and i don't know what i am going to do with myself. 

i by no means want her to come super early

and not be fully developed. 

i just really want time to speed by 

so i can hold her in my arms. 

i feel like this now, what will i do at week 39??

i think we have wanted her for so long, 

that we are more than ready to meet her now. 

we're over this pregnancy and ready to be mom and dad. 

we're ready to play with this little rockstar baby.

<3

 

 

 

 

she needs them all. =)

black swan: a must.

 

maybe it's because she is one of my girl crushes.

maybe its cause im totally into dark movies.

but this movie was amazing!

natalie portman is stunning. 

and mila kunis aint too bad herself. 

i highly recommend this movie. 

if nothing else, but to drool over the hott ladies ;)

6 months in a nutshell.

fast forward:

i'd love to write about every little detail that happened since the day we found out we would be mommy and daddy.

but i don't want to bore you, and id rather just get to the good stuff. 

like, 

we were convinced it was a boy. 

that's what the chinese gender chart said. 

and my doctor. 

and everyone in the world. 

then we went for our sonogram. 

and the tech said, 

"well it looks like...... a girl!"

whhhhaaaaattt????

i already picked out a boys name and bought clothes. 

(of course i bought clothes)

we were not expecting that response at all. 

although, neither of us had a preference. 

my heart immediately filled with joy upon hearing those words. 

i guess it would have been the same if we heard its a boy. 

but we didn't. 

and we are so happy. 

(rockstar husband is a little nervous. practicing some intimidation already for the boys)

so i obviously went shopping. 

and this lady has more clothes than i do already!!

but names we are stuck on. 

there are a bunch we like, but haven't been able to pick. 

the latest is between 

haleigh & kyleigh.

suggestions??

ps. i love her more than words already. 

love her more than i ever thought possible to love someone 

i havent really met.

i couldn't wait to tell you....

­

it''s true. it's true. 

i want to tell you everything about it. 

(and i am so upset i didnt log every step as it happened)

but i guess you're now spared the suspense. 

rockstar husband and i had been trying for 

months & months & months. 

we were almost starting to give up hope. 

my doctors wanted to send us to an infertility specialist. 

it was becoming devastating. 

i finally convinced myself,

"everything happens for a reason"

and i needed to stop stressing it. 

stop obsessing over it. 

stop taking 2 billion tests every month. 

come what may.

on september 4th.

rockstar husband and i had a wedding to go to. 

we both had to work previous. 

and it was such an awful day for both of us. 

we were busy and could not leave work. 

we were going to be so late for this wedding we were looking so forward to. 

we were meeting at my brothers house to get ready and go. 

my brother had already made his way to the big fiesta. 

as i left work, grumpy and moody, 

i contemplated getting a test. 

more than anything to make sure i didn't drink the night away 

if there was a chance there was someone growing inside me.
i walked past the aisle of Target 5 times. 

"do i really need to do this to myself?"

"i already know the answer. STOP"

"but maybe i should just double check"

"kate seriously its not happening, you're optimistic attitude is not helping this one"

"whatever it's not hurting me to do it."

i got on line with box in hand. 

(and yes i wasted even more time in argument with myself)

i got to my brothers...

still aggravated at how late we were going to be. 

but continued to get myself ready, now forgetting about the test. 

i remembered at the last minute. 

as i read the word pregnant

i was in complete disbelief. 

(yes i got the dummy proof ones)

i took two more. 

i don't even know how i produced that much urine. 

and they were the same as the first. 

i was speechless....

definitely not tearless, but wordless. 

i couldn't even catch my breath. 

then he walked in. 

again, aggravated and grumpy. 

throwing stuff around and trying to rush in to get ready. 

i looked at him, smiling ear to ear of course. 

i asked him how his day was going?

knowing full well that it was not so great. 

i huffed. 

i smiled bigger and harder. 

his eyes were curious. 

me "how would you like me to make it better?"

i think his mind went to the gutter here. 

me "what could i tell you right now to make you smile?"

rh "you love me?"

me "that easy huh? well then this will make you ecstatic"

extremely curious now. 

me "you're going to be a daddy"

and again, 

two very outspoken people very quiet. 

very speechless. 

there were just smiles and tears. 

i think i was even more excited after his reaction.

and it has been such an adventure.......

remember me?

i know i know. 

it's been a long time. 

a very very long time. 

and to be honest..... so much has happened. 

i don't know why i haven't kept you up. 

i guess work really took over my time for awhile. 

and really, work took over the most important things in my life. 

when i left retail for the first time, that was my favorite thing about it. 

i realized what life was about. 

i realized life was too short to focus solely on work. 

there was so much more out there. 

there was my amazing family and rockstar husband. 

he's another story. he deserves every second of my life. 

i was happy. 

then last july i took on my old familiar role as a store manager. 

aka no time for rockstar husband or friends or family.

or me.

i isolated many. not purposely. 

i convinced myself they needed to understand work was important to me. 

instead i needed to understand that life was important to me. 

they were important to me.

i needed them. 

i needed this outlet. 

so here i am. 

for good!

check us out check us out.

new photo blog. 

for the business. 

its still under construction.....

but what do you think so far?

benjamin {kate}