i couldn't wait to tell you....

­

it''s true. it's true. 

i want to tell you everything about it. 

(and i am so upset i didnt log every step as it happened)

but i guess you're now spared the suspense. 

rockstar husband and i had been trying for 

months & months & months. 

we were almost starting to give up hope. 

my doctors wanted to send us to an infertility specialist. 

it was becoming devastating. 

i finally convinced myself,

"everything happens for a reason"

and i needed to stop stressing it. 

stop obsessing over it. 

stop taking 2 billion tests every month. 

come what may.

on september 4th.

rockstar husband and i had a wedding to go to. 

we both had to work previous. 

and it was such an awful day for both of us. 

we were busy and could not leave work. 

we were going to be so late for this wedding we were looking so forward to. 

we were meeting at my brothers house to get ready and go. 

my brother had already made his way to the big fiesta. 

as i left work, grumpy and moody, 

i contemplated getting a test. 

more than anything to make sure i didn't drink the night away 

if there was a chance there was someone growing inside me.
i walked past the aisle of Target 5 times. 

"do i really need to do this to myself?"

"i already know the answer. STOP"

"but maybe i should just double check"

"kate seriously its not happening, you're optimistic attitude is not helping this one"

"whatever it's not hurting me to do it."

i got on line with box in hand. 

(and yes i wasted even more time in argument with myself)

i got to my brothers...

still aggravated at how late we were going to be. 

but continued to get myself ready, now forgetting about the test. 

i remembered at the last minute. 

as i read the word pregnant

i was in complete disbelief. 

(yes i got the dummy proof ones)

i took two more. 

i don't even know how i produced that much urine. 

and they were the same as the first. 

i was speechless....

definitely not tearless, but wordless. 

i couldn't even catch my breath. 

then he walked in. 

again, aggravated and grumpy. 

throwing stuff around and trying to rush in to get ready. 

i looked at him, smiling ear to ear of course. 

i asked him how his day was going?

knowing full well that it was not so great. 

i huffed. 

i smiled bigger and harder. 

his eyes were curious. 

me "how would you like me to make it better?"

i think his mind went to the gutter here. 

me "what could i tell you right now to make you smile?"

rh "you love me?"

me "that easy huh? well then this will make you ecstatic"

extremely curious now. 

me "you're going to be a daddy"

and again, 

two very outspoken people very quiet. 

very speechless. 

there were just smiles and tears. 

i think i was even more excited after his reaction.

and it has been such an adventure.......